Week 3 Recap // Guilt, Laziness vs Doing Not-Doing

1 Jul

In general, last week I felt very unproductive, and I felt like I dropped the ball on most of things I wanted to accomplish.  There is a general feeling of laziness, which I keep saying (after reading Tao Te Ching), “I am in the Tao.  I am doing not-doing”.  There are times when that feels really real, and everything happens through me (not forced), but there are other times, where I feel like I am just lazy.  Albeit, I do feel motivated today to pick up where I left off, so that is always a sign that things are happening, and that even phases of laziness change. On the positive side, I am loving my home.  I re-arranged some things and finally feel like we have the furniture set up correct.  It’s been 4mo, and we finally nailed it.

  1. WEEKENDS: Weekends are still difficult for me to gather and input data into My Daily Chart.
  2. SLEEP: I still think I am getting less sleep than I normally would need.  I am taking Melatonin to fall asleep most nights.
  3. SUPPLEMENTS: I slacked a bit this past week, but am hoping to up it this week.
  4. TEMPERATURE:  I lost my thermometer and am kind of okay with that.
  5. HYDRATION: So here is where I am really proud. Because I was having a difficult time keeping track, I started drinking out of my favorite mason jar.  I put a clear piece of tape over the jar and I mark with a permanent marker the amount of times I drink the full glass.  I typically pour 10-12oz. This has worked really well for me.  Also, I am getting in the habit of drinking my 8-12oz right when I wake up, so I feel less inclined to continue to track that.
  6. DREAMING:  I’d still like to start tracking my dreams as well.
  7. SOCIAL: This week I have been feeling less social.  Particularly, I was out of contact with my family and inlaws, when I knew I should have been calling them.  I also slacked on my email.   One thing I did not really realize is that my two best friends are out of town, and my third bestie and neighbor is also out of town.  Socially, my go-to’s are gone, and I have a hard time staying in touch with people when the structure and systems change.
  8. BODY IMAGE: I still feel like my butt is turning into a “mom’s butt”. I am kicking back into gear with butt and ab exercises, and I am going to track that.  I wonder how much I will need to increase my cardio?  I also purchased a gym membership, which I will enact sometime in the next few weeks (but am in no rush).
  9. SKIN: My skin was overall pretty great this week.  I have some shoulder bumps, but not anything noticeable.
  10. HEALTH:  I felt groggy in the mornings, no matter how much sleep I got.  I did Netti Pot this morning and yesterday morning on the tale of a “party weekend”, so I felt really good about doing that. I think it has helped.
  11. DISPOSITION: Adding this category this week.  I would say I felt restless and unmotivated at the same time. There is a general feeling that I am waiting for something to happen, or that I am being lazy.
  12. HOUSE: Last week things started to lose their domestic charm.  This week, I feel great.  I re-arranged the furniture and the place feels like HOME.  I am also going through a desire for minimalism, but we’ll see how that goes. Overall, I am loving my place.  My husband and I also went to Home Depot and picked up some things.  I am in the process of building a modern gazeebo in my back patio.  Really excited about that.
  13. CAR: Like last week, nothing has happened.  Except, I received a parking ticket and now there is a sign on my car that it is the property of LA because I have yet to register it in Cali.  Urgh.
  14. MORE ON THE TAO: I am still toying with “doing not-doing”, but it is challenging.  And I feel hopeful (i.e. I am desiring), that I feel more motivated.
  15. OTHER: Still watching My So Called Life and loving it.  I am out of insecurity and more into a bit of guilt and “hard on myself” tactics.  I am craving isolation.  It is hard to do that in a marriage and when living with someone.  It is so internal.
  16. PERSONAL:  Maybe I will write about people in code, so I can increase the honesty in all of my texts and experiences.
  17. PRODUCTIVITY:  Also adding this category, mainly because it has been central to my experience this past week.  In many ways, I have been highly productive.  I bought URL’s, re-arranged my house, hung shelves, started my gazeebo, built a website, went to the flea market, had quality time with friends, organized a dinner party… but still, because I had this month planned on doing more PhMe research and I set the standard for myself that I am a great friend, I feel guilty that I have not dedicated time to those projects/relationships.  I’d like to reserve my Sundays to call friends and am putting it on my calendar to do so for this coming week.

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