Tag Archives: Stillness

“How would you ever get there? By a ceaseless awareness, by the infinite patience and compassion you would have for a drug addict. By developing a taste for the good things in life to counter the craving for your drug. What good things? The love of work which you enjoy doing for the love of itself; the love of laughter and intimacy with people to whom you do not cling and on whom you do not depend emotionally ,but whose company you enjoy. It will also help if you take on activities that you can do with your whole being, activities that you so love to do that while you’re engaged in them success, recognition, and approval simple do not mean a thing to you. It will help, too, if you return to nature. Send the crowds away, go up to the mountains, and silently commune with the tree and flowers and animals and birds, with sea and clouds and sky and stars.”

16 Nov

Anthony de Mello in “Awareness”

“They’ll show you pictures in an album, of places they never saw but only photographed. – I cannot warn you enough about this type of asceticism. Slow down and taste and smell and hear, and let your senses come alive.”

16 Nov

Anthony de Mello in “Awareness”

It sounds strange in a culture where we’ve been trained to achieve goals, to get somewhere, but in fact, there’s no where to go because you’re there already. The Japanese have a nice way of putting it: ‘The day you cease to travel, you will have arrived.” ‘

16 Nov

Anthony de Mello in “Awareness”

Continued from P. 146 “The moment you make a goal out of it and attempt to get it, you’re seeking ego glorification, ego promotion. You want the good feeling that you’ve made it.

“The one who knows, does not say; the one who says, does not know.”

16 Nov

Anthony de Mello in “Awareness”

I think I discovered a part of my life’s purpose tonight….

13 Nov

There are but a few times in your life that such beautiful insight and guidance comes along.  Tonight was one of those nights.

Growing up, when the question was asked, “What do you want to do when you grow up,” I’d reply, “Be an Olympian… and an amazing wife and badass mom.”  Because – that was real; I really wanted to be a great mom and wife.

But what about professionally, and creatively? What, outside of the mom and wife, do I want to do?  Well, tonight, after years of searching and subsequent months of stillness and patience, I think I know:

I want to build magical spaces for people.

That’s it.  Ahh… a little clarity of self.  Such a nice, and relieving feeling.

A few other things that have become clear:

1) I want to work with great people with incredible integrity

2) I want to feel good about my work, and that it builds a world and a personal body of work that I believe in.

3) I want more cohesion, professionally, amongst myself and other people who seek truth and understanding.  I believe it is possible that you don’t have to play “the game” in life, but it starts by disillusioned, non-game-players getting together and creating a new and different game. Note: one way I’d like to do this is by giving a portion of any company I start to “people who’s body of work I believe, and who are fearless in their honesty and pursuit of their truth” (whatever that means).  It also means doing business with these people, and it means doing business to connect these people.



“Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and your water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?”

30 Jun

Tao Te Ching on Stillness, Effort, Patience

Coffee //

23 Jun

Negative Affects of Coffee

One of the conclusions I am definitely drawing (and have been aware of for a while), is that I am highly affected by coffee.  It leaves me wondering, does coffee affect women in a different way than it affects men?  Certain blood types? Certain personalities?  Essentially, I know I am not the only one affected so intensely by coffee, and most others that share this with me are women.  I wonder if there is somethings there.  Below are my experiential notes:


  • Jittery
  • Shaky Hands
  • Anxiety
  • Impatience
  • Uncontrolled Intensity
  • Out of control, fast pace of thoughts
  • Difficulty being still
  • Difficulty listening for extended periods of time
  • Feels like I can’t stop talking when I know the time to stop talking has passed
  • Sometimes, increase heart rate and increase in the intensity of my heart beat
  • Dry skin
  • Dehydrating
  • Sometimes a crash after a few hours


  • Increase productivity (eh hem… like this post)
  • Sensual enjoyment of coffee’s aroma and taste
  • Emotional enjoyment of my associations of coffee with friends, my husband, my brothers.  I really enjoy the ritual of making it and drinking it.
  • Laxative and positive digestive affects
  • Appetite suppressant
  • Increase alertness

Vipassana Meditation

9 Jun

On May 7th, I embarked no a 10-day Vipassana.

This includes all day meditation sittings with no talking, no reading, no writing, no exercise, 4a wake up bells.

Below are my notes:

Vipassana Notes Page 1 Vipassana Notes Page 2 Vipassana Notes Page 3