Week 5 Recap (& week 4)

13 Jul

Wholly shit, last week was intense.  I got technically married on Thursday (we signed the documents on Thursday, but had our big ceremony in February).  I faced a lot of delusion still remaining in myself, and essentially took out a lot of my ish on my husb.  My take-aways were:

  1. I am addicted and crave “magic” and I abhor the ordinary.  Also, that I have defined magic to mean this thing that fits inside the tip of a needle, therefor closing myself to the world of magic around me.
  2. There is a little girl in me who wants a fairy tale that feels robbed of her fairy tale feeling.
  3. I have always used the thought that “I can leave you” as both leverage to get what I want in intimate relationships and to create a safe place for my mind to go.

Most of the last week focuses on remaining in the Tao, constructing and staining my Ashram Gazebo and dreading signing a marriage contract.   Also, as a general shift in “paying attention”, I have been more drawn to the intersubjective than the subjective or objective recently.  I am more interested in what happens between people, than I am so focused on what is going on inside myself.  I sense that general trend.

  1. WEEKENDS: Weekends are still difficult for me to gather and input data into My Daily Chart.
  2. COMPUTER: I am trying to keep a note pad by my bed to record data because there are some days where I just don’t feel like being on my computer.  That slows my tracking and daily data inputs at times.
  3. SLEEP: Sleep has been better.  I have not taken melatonin in a while.
  4. SUPPLEMENTS: I take them sporatically.
  5. HYDRATION: It is becoming such a habit, that I don’t feel the need to keep track any more.  I am really consciously hydrating and tell everyone “I am a hydratarian.”
  6. DREAMING:  I’d still like to start tracking my dreams, still. I am not recalling my dreams most of these days.
  7. SOCIAL: This last week I have been feeling less than-normal-social, but I can feel it changing.  I miss my local friends who are out of town, a lot.
  8. BODY IMAGE: I feel better about my booty.
  9. SKIN: My skin was overall pretty great this week.
  10. HEALTH: Health has felt good.
  11. DISPOSITION: Angsty, scared, playful, sad. In my head.
  12. HOUSE: I hung paintings.  The house is in flow.  Ashram Gazebo will be done by next week.
  13. CAR: Nothing has happened.  Except that it is really having a hard time starting.
  14. MORE ON THE TAO: I am still toying with “doing not-doing”.
  15. OTHER: I am watching the “Cosmos”.  “My So Called Life” was bumming me out.  Listening to a LOT of 90’s alternative music.  Cranberries has been in my head for days.
  16. PERSONAL:  I started writing about people and my experiences using first names in my daily data.
  17. PRODUCTIVITY:  I am thinking a lot about a few projects.  That has been fun.  And I am plugging away on the Ashram Gazebo.

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